bubble

There is a split second of free time in your life, what to do is always the thought that enters mine however never do I seem to actually follow what i have thought of instead I sit and think about how much I am missing out on in life during my most important teenage years. Trying to just be sixteen is a lot harder than some people may measure it up to be. When people ask me if I have a boyfriend I always say the same thing, " indeed I do, I have three" There names are school, volleyball and work. They are the three things in my life that consume a big part if not the entire part of my day. When I look back on the past three months I begin to question if what I have been doing is more productive then entertaining and weather or not it was worth not being a teenager for. I guess you could say I am just going through a faze in my life where I find that being a more reliable and well thought of person is more important than being well entertaining and fun. Not to say that I am not fun its just that I find latly i have been more anti social then I have ever been when it comes to my friends and family which are the people that matter most to me in my life however I seem to have the zero factor of time.

I have been in my old little bubble latly, having a schedual that repeats week after week with the same things to do. Mondays are the same old stay at the school till 5:30 then do my coaching for the night and by the time I get home I watch my television shows and I am upstairs in my room for the remainder of the night. Tuesday I go to school, then stall at the school for three hours till my volleyball starts then I have practice and go home shower which is the same thing what I do thursday, and is the reason why I am writing this right now. The weekends are for working and even though wednesday is my "free" day i still manage to stay to myself and do absolutly nothing. I think it is time that i branch out and do new things because pretty soon I will not be able to get back to the way that things use to be, with a smile on my face and free from all problems that I yet to entail.

just another day.

Clarke (Home)

As most of you may already know I am not suppose to be attending Clarke based on my address which is Bowmanville, but when we moved a year and a half ago i was given the choice by my parents to either go to CCSS and be able to take the bus to and from school or stay at Clarke and have my parents drive me daily. So with little to know hesitation i choose to stay at Clarke and here is the many reasons why I choose to stay and why I love my school.

Friends
Even though I know that I am a social and outgoing person and would not have too hard of a time fitting in at a new school it would be to hard to leave my dear friends, I have seen people who change schools and move away and say that they are going to keep in touch and that they will never forget you but in most cases it doesn't happen and my friends mean to much to me to loose them. Next, I love going to a small school, being able to know the name of almost every student that attends is something that makes me think of my school as my second family. The people at Clarke are also very accepting and even though some may disagree with me, Clarke is a very accepting school which i find is such an important aspect for a school to have.

Teachers
Yes okay you may be thinking to yourself every school has teachers, true. However the teachers that teach at Clarke is a big part of the reason as to why I have chosen to stay. Sure there are the good ones and the bad, that I know will be the same at every school but the ones that will make a difference in your life will be easily found at Clarke. One of my teachers once said to me, "I am a person first a teacher second." I always think to myself inside every teacher is a mother or father, a sister or brother, a coach or pilot, a friend or a loved one. They are people, people that I know have made such a difference and have had such a large impact in my life. The teachers at Clarke also most likely know you, know your personality but more importantly your name, which is a lot more than some people can say about the teachers at there school. I am not going to lie I do have favourite teachers and the ones that we will remember forever. My favourite teachers know who they are, and know why they are and if not I will tell you. It is because you care, care enough to ask me how I am doing when I am having a rough day, ask me what I am up to for the weekend just to know, give me advice on what to do in life, joke around with me, tell me stories about your life, and finally make me feel comfortable enough to be myself. Oh yeah and being a good teacher helps too! Now you might look at teachers in a different way, possibly have more respect for them, or just think I am crazy for getting to know my teachers and knowing that they have a life outside the walls of Clarke High School.

Sports
I love athletics and when making my decision of weather or not to stay at Clarke I kept in mind about the Raiders. I love to play school sports, It's just who I am. Even if its not a sport that I excel at I try out anyways because they keep me busy and Fit and it is a great way to meet new people. The thing about Clarke is that because of the low numbers at the school your chances to be on multiple sports teams is a lot higher. Sports are just another reason as to why I love my school.

Overall
A lot of you may be thinking to yourselves really? Wanting to stay at Clarke over a school that is bran new and has a lot more options? You may think that its strange and the wrong choice when to tell you the truth I love it, I spend more time there then I do at my house and I have no regrets to my decision. I love my school don't try and convince me otherwise.

Its been fun.

Well today was the last regular day of semester 1 of my grade eleven year. I have been continuing to say how I can't wait until this semester is over with and semester two begins when really what do I have to complain about besides math. To be completely honest i have thoroughly enjoyed this semester, and am quite sad that it is at it's end. Lets look at things realistically shall we, Strings- It has been quite entertaining and enjoyable and I am going to miss starting off my morning with that class, running down the hall as O'Canada is is just beginning and sliding in the door just on time. I am also going to miss having Mr.Glover as my teacher because he is always an interesting way to start off any day. Next we move onto Peer helping. Oh Peer helping. For some strange reason I am going to miss all 32 grade nines in that class, some more than others but hey I'm only human. Helping out Mr. Gailits for the past 4 and a half months has been a lot of fun and I would not hesitate to do it all over again and am going to miss having him as a teacher. Alright now here is where things got a little rough. My afternoon, beginning with Math Class, every teenagers worst nightmare, besides Catt of course. Let's just say I survived and am really not going to miss a whole lot about that class besides getting the evil eye from a special someone because I asked a question, but that is another story. Moving on shall we. Com Tech or as Catt and I would say Technology Class. Lets just say I am going to miss a lot of things specifically people. Well Miss Bellingham you make the list finishing at number one, without Catt next to me in this class I would have not made it through. Sharing our life stories in an hour and ten minutes is not easy but we managed. Oh the boys on the flip side to Matt thanks for getting me kicked out of class because of your laugh, Paully thanks for laughing at basically everything I say and Ahmad my brother from another mother, the boy who use to sit in the corner of the class alone and me and Catt would say who is that poor boy man your lucky Larock changed the seating plan or you might have never met me and boy what a shame that might have been. Bethany, I am going to miss you asking me questions then rolling your eyes at my silly answers! Last but not least Larocky, lets just say we have had quite the semester together and I will never forget you as a teacher but more importantly as a person. So semester one has been fun, however its time for something new so I say bring on semester two. Anthropology, Gym, English and Music, beware because Justine is coming!

Not Just A Game.

You hear people say it all the team "It's just a game." Only its not just a game, its a sport, a passion and is something that my life revolves around. I guess if you haven't figured out already what I am talking about then I should consider filling in the blank for you. The sport is Volleyball and believe me when I tell you that if it wasn't for this sport I wouldn't be the person I am today. I began playing school volleyball in grade 4 and have continued to play school volleyball to this day. I also am In my 4th year of playing rep for the Ganaraska Wolves and because of a shortage of players on the age group above mine I now play for two seperate teams. Like I said before my life revolves around this sport. A typical week for me right now would go. Monday coaching, Tuesday school practice then Wolves practice, Wednesday school tourny, Thursday, school practice then wolves practice, Saturday Wolves tournament and then would start my week over again. My practices for Wolves are three hours long and even with the amount of volleyball in my life I still love every second of it. Its that moment when I step on the court, I feel the rush go through my body and its like nothing else matters, like time is standing still and when the game is over the clock begins to tick again. So still think that its just a game? If you do well then go read someone elses blog.

Fitting in.

Clicks, labels, categories they are all around us. So what makes them so important? Well they are the things that divide one person from another. Based on interests, appearance, and overall quality of life. So knowing how to deal with them and get through the fear of fitting in is something that no matter how hard you try might never change. When you look at yourself and your life right now, are you being the person who you are,or are you being who people want you to be? Its hard to understand even I do it I stick to my own kind because they are the ones who I feel the most comfortable being myself around and are the people that I know will not judge me for being myself. I look at our High School and see it as a giant division, between grades, popularity, academics and athletics. The burden between which one you choose to belong to is up to you. I say screw it, screw clicks and labels I choose to be my own independent person and learn that I can't change the world, the school or even peoples minds for that matter, but I know that I look at people for who they are not what they look like or what they choose to believe in. Maybe you should too.

You know your crazy when ...

We have all heard it. Everyone says it. "Oh what a long day." It must have come out of your mouth once in your life time, I know its come out of mine. Lets rewind back a bit shall we. Finally settling on what I am going to wear I do my hair, brush my teeth, pack my lunch and am on my way to the car for another day of school. I walk through the main doors of Clarke just as I would do any other day and mossie my way on up to my locker where I spend sometime with my morning crew of friends. First period not all that interesting played the violin and practiced for my ensamble that I have to present the next day. Second period rolls around and all I can think about is oh no Shakespeare. After all that was over with I classify my morning as officially over and my afternoon finally beginning. I went out to lunch with a friend who I had not seen in quite sometime and after that was over and done with I went back to my second home Clarke where I then went through third and fourh period. Now my night is just beginning. Today I luckly had somethings to keep me busy untill six-thirty I finished my project and watched the boys play some basketball taking home two solid victories by the way. After that I went upstairs to my locker spread out my blanket and pillow plugged in my ipod and took a nap right in the middle of the hall on the floor where I do some of my best thinking. Then the clock stikes six and I head back on down to the gym where my volleyball team mates are just ariving, after three hours it is time to take down the nets and call it a day at clarke. From eight thrity in the morning to nine thirty at night my thirteen hour day is officially over at clarke and I finally leave my "Home" to go home knowing that I will be back in eleven hours to start another day. So mabye you might think twice the next time you say, 'Oh what a long day.'

Learn how to deal.

Friendships, we all have them and have had them during are lives, some are stronger than others and some you wish you have never gotten yourself into in the first place. I never know what to say when I look at her these days, why have we let things get this bad could be a start. Or maybe why do you never seem to care or want to work things out. It is hard enough having problems in your life that you can’t deal with alone and the first thing you want to do is tell your friend, but what do you do when your friend is the one who is the problem and doesn’t care enough to want to fix it. Apparently you do nothing and wait for time to takes its place and let everything blow over on its own. However that is not the way I like to deal with my problems, I would prefer to talk it out and fix whatever is going on. Doing nothing about it only leads to more and more anger and disappointment building up inside of me and not knowing when but knowing that one day all of that anger and disappointment is going to start showing through my thick skin and take control over me. Why now you might be wondering, why this time and this problem, because it’s either now or never.

not changing.

Sometimes people question themselves asking is it even worth it? Is being the person that you have strived to be and the personality that you have taken the time to build, is it being well received by the people around you? In this last couple of months I feel as though my personality is being taken in the wrong way, when really I try to portray myself as an outgoing fun loving upbeat person who really is not looking for drama or trouble, so why is it that i have people who i thought know me and know the person who I really am are the ones coming up to me questioning my character and trying to change me into the person that I really am not. Really when I hear things like your a bully and a disrespectful person it hurts me. Not because of what they said, but because the people that say it know the person I am and know that I would never intentionally go out of my way to cause problems. I guess the point I am making by this is that even though it hurt, I know that their are people out there who look past what I sometimes might give off as being to sarcastic or too "over the top" and see the person that they have taken the time to get to know. In no way would I say oh feel sorry for me. I love my life and will not change a thing about myself weather it be my appearance or personality I am building character as I write this by getting to know myself and realizing who my true friends really are and the ones who will stand by me through it all.